Finding That Perfect Black Man
Today I did some casting for a show I am launching on MadameNoire soon. It’s a show featuring Black men of all kinds of backgrounds, mindsets and experiences.
From 9 am to 8 pm today, I spoke with 21 black men at length about their lives, their love lives and their opinions.
My takeaways:
- There are some really good Black men out there. I mean, more than the media and twitter gossipfolk would have you think. I wanna say half of the men I met were married, faithful and loved being married. I felt like the pool of men I met overall were of good quality.
- There are some passionate double standards out there.
- Met an amazing short(er) man today who spoke of how some women need to get over their height biases. I could see myself liking a guy like him….but I couldn’t get over the height thing. DAMMIT GINA!
- Older men seemed to be the ones with a good head on their shoulders, either because they always had a good head on their shoulders or because they bumped their heads enough times and figured it out in their older years. The mindset of the 35+ year old men seemed to be the type of guys most women want….only younger.
- Speaking of older men, a few men mentioned that having an older married male role model really shaped their approach to dating and marriage in a positive way.
- Some men are sensitive and can be reasonably jaded about dating.
- Some men who are viewed as pretty boys aren’t always the “player” types. At least, not in an obvious way.
Overall, I think I had a good pool of men to work with today. I have to continue my casting call next week.
The one kind of guy I did NOT see any inkling of? The single Black man unabashedly devoted to living his life like he loves Jesus. The one who loves God, lives like it, and is not afraid to speak up about it….but who also doesn’t come off like a completely unrelatable, crazy, man. Does this guy even exist? I think having this kind of guy on my show would be….different. And I want different men in the mix, but will I be able to find this specific man in NYC?
PS Ironically, this is the type of Black man I’ve been looking for in my dating life. Haaaa.
